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Note: To be edited...


Crimson tears fall
Upon the winter snow I pray
To rid myself of my own silent melody

The town itself is falling apart...

Where am I?

The stray runaway walks among this deserted town called Silent Hill. Among the ash falling from the sky, it is desolate and secluded as she walks along the cracked and unkept streets of a town that once was habitable. The fog secludes her eyes as meek and cloudy and thick it is.

What is this place, and why in god's name am I holding a bloody katana in my hand? If there is a such thing as a god in this day and age...

Turning back didn't seem like a good idea either, since she didn't want to go back to that godforsaken place which was her hell to her. Memories of the past and her present future come back to her in brief snippets as she stands there in a daze holding her wool coat tightly around her feeling the cold winter air, and her own tears straining down her face. Running away was the only way to get out of the predicament she was in…


A painful heart full of void, horror and regret over the years. She has lived a troubled 21 years of her life. In her youth, it seemed like everything was planned out for her. She feels that she was even a mistake to even be born...

Her father was an alcoholic, an abuser, in which he used to hit her mom, who tried to keep the peace, hide the scars, the bruises, and the black and blue marks. Her brother whom was five years old died when he got caught in the crossfire between their dad and mom. Their dad had a .50 colt, which did not even come to point that it was lock and loaded. He had it as a security precaution and protection against "those crazy ass neighbors of ours". He also thought since the amendment had it "written in stone" in which you had "the right to bear arms", he sought that as an opportunity to have a license to own a gun, as drunk, and a worthless loser that he is.

Her dad couldn't hold a job to save his life. Why her mom even married him the first place remains to be seen. Maybe he was different before. People do change. But then again...its like he didn't give a fuck.

Her mom tried as she might to hold onto herself, even if she lost a child to her alcoholic husband. The bleeding wound of her son Nicholas just wouldn't stop, as much as she tried to wash it away. Her son was born with an illness in which made his blood very thin; hematoma, if he were to get a little cut, it wouldn't stop bleeding. As fragile and pale as Nicholas was, Maria and her would take Nicholas outside; to be a normal kid, because that's what he is. But as much as they both tried to hide it, they both knew and so did Nicholas that he was weak, and needed assistance. Both Maria and her took care of him; while Maria went to work to get by to support the family; Nicholas and his 10 year old sister would walk hand by hand to school, and take care of themselves as much as they could. Without the perfect so-called normal life that the other school kids had, they were born and rekindled as adults...

Hand in hand, both Nicholas and her would try their best to fend the pain of their household. Their dad and mom constantly screaming, fighting, and throwing numerous items at one another; so therefore both Nicholas and her would seek solace and protection in their bedroom together, trying to create their own life by being “What they wish not to be”…like them. Going on with their life as if their mom and dad didn’t even exist, and acting like orphans, taking care of one another, like a brother and sister would.

No one knew about their family, not even their friends. It was better that they didn’t anyway, they wouldn’t understand, and I don’t need any sympathy from nobody anymore.

Between her having to deal with her father, school life, and taking care of her brother, it’s no wonder she held on for so long. But she didn’t trust anybody, no one to lean on when times were tough, and no one to tell her everything was going to be ok. There was no normal life for her and no perfect world.

Update: May 18th 2010

It seems like nothing was going right, and no matter how I try to stay strong, I felt like I didn't belong anywhere. Why even bother trying to fit in when all I get is sneers and fits of laughter for all that pass me by?

"Vile", my father would say. "Worthless, and a waste of time I am".

Is that why I ran away? I put my hands over my head, and closed my eyes once more, back and forth my visions were going, back towards me at school just swinging on a swing back and forth, staring at a puddle of water, thinking of my escape, and then rapid visions of where I am now.

"Hey, what are you doing there, short stuff?" Someone was next to me...no, those two were by the swing, the ones that betrayed me, shunned me, and decided to toy with me. My temper was boiling, I felt a crowd was surrounding the 3 of us all of a sudden. Then...I saw that I had a rock in my hand, grasping it with all my built up anger, fueling the flame to the fire. I got up, and stood there, hearing just the silence...

"Leave me alone", I heard myself say. "I had enough of this, why do you bully me, what is your intention?"

"I want you dead", the other voice said. Soft and sweet she said it, but I knew she was trying to be coy, just to be nice in a bad girl sort of way. "He's mine, and you know that".

"I wasn't trying to do anything"...

"Don't play dumb with me bitch. I saw you with him, my little pals here told me."

My eyes started to hurt all of a sudden and I shielded my left side of my face, I saw flashing lights, or...lights on a cop car.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She was looking at me dumbfounded. I put my arm down slightly, and saw no police car anywhere. Then...again, it happened again, but this time, it blinded me to the point I halfway stumbled to the ground.

"Aaaah", my head was pounding, and just like a movie fast forward, I saw flashbacks, rapidly streaming in my head of Nicholas, of my mom, the hospital, the cops, my mother holding my brother in her arms crying, me running after my dad. The images wouldn't stop, and among all the flashbacks I heard the background noise of the charade I was still in, with my rock still in my hand. I attempted to regain my composure, and ran toward her, my blood boiling, and raised the rock over my head to beat her with it, when I heard a voice scream out my name in a shrill, and then I fell again, this time all the way down, and saw to my amazement a person whom has been dead for 11 years...

My brother...


it's 4:31 PM now on Monday, March 8, 2010

Name: Ninja
Hobbies: Medical Illustration, Photography, Writer
Birthdate: Apr.23
Quote: Devil's Never Cry...

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